


You Might Drown

by dirty_diana



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/F, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-08
Updated: 2002-12-08
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:57:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirty_diana/pseuds/dirty_diana
Summary: Sequel to Like Cinnamon. Kaylee and River almost don't, but then they almost do.





	You Might Drown

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

 

You Might Drown

## You Might Drown

### by dirty diana

Warnings: a little violence and a little sex Feedback: welcome  
Disclaimer: I didn't invent these characters. Obviously. Notes: All Kaylee/River, all the time. This is told from Kaylee's POV, in case it isn't clear. Set after Ariel. Meant to be read after "Like Cinnamon". 

You have kissed River three more times since that day in the engine room. Four kisses, six days - that makes two thirds of a kiss per day. And you have counted them carefully, stored them with you, each two thirds of a kiss carrying with it the fear that she might never kiss you again. Kiss one: in the engine room. Kiss two: in the shuttle pod, when you were supposed to be working on a broken landing mechanism. Kiss three: engine room, again. Kiss four: the galley, while you fixed up dinner for the crew. That was less than an hour ago. 

"What the hell is this?" Jayne is demanding to know. 

"It's dessert," you say brightly. 

"Dessert?" Jayne repeats. "Ain't nobody's birthday. Is it?" 

"No, silly. It's just pie. Apple pie. I made it with the apples you bought us on the last stop. I ain't never made one before, but I found a recipe, so..." 

"Three quarters of a cup sugar," River pipes up. "Half a teaspoon salt. Half a teaspoon nutmeg. But we didn't have any. One and a half tablespoons..." 

It is clearly her intention to recite the entire recipe. Simon cuts her off. "It looks lovely. Who shall cut the first piece?" 

"I will," Inara volunteers. She is sitting opposite you, beside River. She picks up the knife and cuts a perfect triangle, not even crumbling the crust at the edges. "Do you want some, River?" River nods, and Inara pushes the pie and the knife in her direction. Gracefully, the way that she does everything else. 

You find yourself wondering if Inara's hair stays up by itself. She seems to have so much of it, and it sits in piles and waves on top of her head, aided by no pins that can be seen by the naked eye. You wonder if she ever lets it down. What would her hair look like then, spilling loose onto bare shoulders as she prepares for bed, or steps, moist and glistening, out of her bath? 

You are broken out of your reverie by Inara's yell. It is a dignified yell, like you would expect, but certainly loud. The pie knife has dropped, clattering, to the ground, and the wound in Inara's forearm is dripping blood. River has vanished. 

Mal is furious. "I told you to keep your gorram sister under control." 

"Yes." Simon is only half-listening, as he lifts Inara's arm to examine her arm. "I don't understand. She's been doing better, since I've started treating her. Something must have set her off." 

"Don't care what set her off," Mal growls. "I'm gonna find her 'fore she does anymore damage. And when I do, I'm restraining her in your quarters. Can't have her roamin' the ship loose, stabbin' people." 

"Of course." Simon begins to stand up. "I can help in the search..." 

"No, you concentrate on stitching up Inara. I'll find River. Ain't too many places she could have gone." 

You stand up quickly. "I'll help." 

Mal glances at you. "Hell, everybody'll help. We'll split up, maybe find her faster that way." 

~~ 

She is where you knew she would be, in the engine room. She is huddled in a corner, tugging at the hem of her dress, pulling it around herself like a blanket. She doesn't seem to notice you enter. 

"River." 

Your voice seems to startle her. She glances up at you, brown eyes wide and reflecting no light. "You cut me." 

"What? No, sweetie, that was...don't you remember? You...you hurt Inara. But it's okay. She'll be okay. Everyone wants to know where you got to." 

"You cut me," River repeats stubbornly. "Cut me in half. Took out all my insides." 

You wish you knew what she was talking about. You kneel down, and place a hand on her knee. You hope that's comforting. "It's okay. No one's going to hurt you. We just want..." Without realising that you are doing it, you draw your hand along her thigh. You are thinking about what it is that you want. You want to know what she looks like. You dream about her, you dream about her all the time, but you don't know what she looks like and so the dreams are unsatisfying, the skipped details nagging at you. You don't know the shape of her breasts, or the exact colour of her nipples, underneath that dirty dress. Your imagination can try to fill in the blanks, of course. But when you wake up, wet and breathing hard, you can't help feeling that you imagined her wrong. 

"Perhaps," now your hand strokes down her thigh and up again, "maybe it's okay, if you hide a spell longer. Give everyone a chance to cool down. Do you want to come to my bunk?" 

You don't want to take her to your bunk. You want to take her right here, in between the groaning parts of the engine, to make her moan while the engine grinds out its own insatiable rhythm. But they'll be looking in here soon. "River," you say again, "do you want..." 

River sets her jaw, closes her eyes against you, and lets out a blood-chilling scream. 

~~ 

You spend a few hours looking after the engine, before going to look for River. Mal and Zoe have dragged her off to the Tams' quarters, and restrained her there. You wonder idly, as you enter, who owns the soft leather handcuffs that attach River to her cot. Eyes unfocused, she is drifting from whatever Simon has given her to calm her down. You think that you have finally figured it out. 

"Is it because I was thinking bad thoughts about her? Is that why you hurt Inara?" 

River closes her eyes. You are afraid that she is going to scream again, but she doesn't. "You cut me." 

"I didn't mean to." You move towards her, slowly. "Sweetie...I don't want Inara." 

River's eyes fly wide open. You wonder how she knows that you are lying. 

"That is," you amend, "I don't want her that much." 

There is no change in River's expression. You kneel beside her. "I mean...I don't want her, more than I want you." 

The menace in River's eyes fades, just slightly. "You took out all my insides," she whispers softly. 

"I know. You told me." You sigh, searching for the right words. "It don't matter anyway. She don't fancy me. She fancies the captain, something fierce." 

River's expression changes again. You hate that she thinks so many thoughts that you can't read. Especially when she seems to read all of yours. "The captain wants Simon," is all she says. 

"I reckon he does, yeah." 

"Simon wants Jayne." 

"I know." 

"Jayne wants..." 

"I wish you would quit runnin' away, after we kiss." If you didn't interrupt her, you might never have said it. "I might want to kiss you again. Or...or somethin' else." 

This makes River smile. She tugs at the restraints. "Can't run away now." 

"No." You have just thought of that, yourself. "You can't." 

She is lying on her back, sinking into the bed. You kiss her waiting mouth, kiss her hard, and the taste of her makes you bolder. Your fingers attack the buttons of her dress. Top button...second button...third button, and her right breast exposed, swelling beneath your rough fingers. You stroke it, first the pale roundness, and then inwards, until you're watching a bright pink nipple blush and turn hard underneath your hand. Her breath is coming faster now, in time with yours. You draw your tongue across your lips, then bend down, and put your mouth over the pinkness. And then you suck, soft at first, gentle, and then harder, searching, as if you might draw milk. 

"Now." Her voice startles you, and you look up. "Now," she repeats. 

"Yeah?" You tease her nipple once more, with your tongue. "Are you wet, sweetie?" 

You can't be sure if that's a smile on her pretty face. "Always. Rivers. Rivers, lakes, and oceans. Always deep, and always wet. Best be careful. You might drown." 

"Reckon I might," you agree, and push aside more fabric, searching for her other breast." 

"Now," she says urgently. 

"If you can't run away," you tell her, "you can't give orders, neither." 

"No. Now. Simon..." 

You hear the rustling of the hatch. You have barely gotten River buttoned again, and flown across the room to sit on the only chair, when Simon is standing in the room. The room is so hot that you can barely breathe, but Simon doesn't seem to notice. 

"How are you feeling, mei mei?" he asks River. "You look a little flushed. Do you have a fever, do you think?" 

You have slipped up the ladder, and out of their cabin, before you burst into happy giggles. 

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